Here’s an email Bill Kipp and I received this week for a FAST Defense graduate and friend, Bill Frankzac

Now it’s really easy to play Monday morning quarterback on the ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda‘ things, but I really just look beyond that.  To what the end result was.

The end-result of this was that our friend went home safely.  No real-life situation is ever going to be perfect.  You can’t predict when, where and how it’ll happen.  You can’t truly know how you’ll react.  You can just train for it in the best way you can, and then deal with the cards that are dealt.

I’m truly thankful to be teaching this stuff.  It really does change people’s lives.

So I thought I’d share a fairly quick but  true story… I took up figure skating just a few years ago in my 40′s.

I had my first “freak” accident a few months ago and fell face first on the ice and reaped a concussion and 15 stitches ( my first set of stitches other than a neck surgery-ever) and a nice “Rocky” style swollen shut black eye.

When it happened, the figure skating instructors said they couldn’t believe how calm I was. Mind you, I had never felt such a hard blow to my head/face in my life ever and that in itself was quite a shock. I recall myself saying silently, breath…stay calm… focus…take care of business… Now where in the heck had I heard that before, lol?

The next challenge was getting back on the ice, which I did only 4 days later sporting my stitches and colorful eye.  That felt like the scariest thing I’ve ever faced and I knew I had to do it quickly or may not do it at all. I must admit that I passive-aggressively stared at the spot of the ice where I had fallen, figuring the only way to get back at it was to skate on top of it and not fall, lol. That would really show it.

Again… used my FAST Defense skills of breathing and focusing, and taking small steps towards the bigger goal…of enjoying what I was doing.  Ah, did I mention I had a competition that was just like six weeks or so away and had lots of training to do for it? Gulp.

This reminds me off how scared I really was in my first FAST Defense seminar around 2000. The adrenaline, fear, and guts it took for me to go back out and do a second scenario were very similar.

I think that FAST Defense training can help you deal with whatever life throws at you in so many ways if you just make that connection and let it.  Attending a seminar once is great, but taking one every year, for five-to-ten years is even better:-).

I hope that FAST Defense has had the same impact on you, being that you use what you’ve learned in the training in your every day life and not just when you need to resolve conflict, or kick butt and take names.

Kathy Marlor

Part 1 – I’d just run.

I have issues.   To those that know me closely, this comes as no surprise.  One of my biggest issues is that I’m very sceptical of things people say to me.  The more categorical the statement, the more I wonder just how sacred that cow actually is.  Like pulling the thread on a sweater, only to find it unravelling in your hand.

In the self-defense world, when I hear instructors saying ‘If you do this, that will happen’, I find myself asking a couple of questions.

Firstly, can they make it work on me, and secondly will it work for most people, most of the time?   I look for proof, and in this case, the burden of proof is on the person teaching it.  If we are asking people to stake their lives on what we teach, they deserve to have it proven, don’t you think?

There are bunches of stuff in the self-defense world that I don’t think completely stand up to the close scrutiny that burden of proof brings.    Not that they are completely false, just that they aren’t as cut and dried as they are made out to be.

In a short series of blog posts, I’m hoping to expand on some of these.  And the first is a doozy.     How many times have you heard someone say ‘Oh, I’d just run’?

Running away often seems to be touted as a universal panacea to self-defense questions that aren’t easily answered.

Knife wielding maniac? – just run away.   Multiple attackers? – just run away.  Bigger, scarier opponent? – just run away.

Without thinking about the issues that this tactic brings, how can you be sure it’s correct?  Here are some other things you might want to think about.

How do you know you can run faster than your attackers?  Are you younger or fitter than they are?  Do you have any injuries that prevent you running?  Are you wearing clothing that is more optimal for running that your attacker?  These are big questions.  One of the worst beatings I ever got was from a gang of guys who chased me down and beat the snot out of me.  I was young, fit and wearing shoes that no one could ever have run in.  I learned a huge lesson that day.

People will sometimes tell you that because you are full of adrenaline, you’ll have the advantage.  Is your attacker immune to adrenaline then?  Do gazelles never get caught by cheetahs?

Do you know where you are running to?  Using the principle that you’ll rarely be attacked when the conditions are advantageous for you, perhaps you are in an area you know less well.    Adrenaline rush makes rational decision making more difficult.  You can equally find yourself running out in front of a bus; or jumping over a wall into a 50’ drop; or down a blind alley.

And now you are down this blind alley, you have to fight out of breath and closer to panic.  This is exactly what happened to me.  I was caught and beaten.  The negative effect of being run down and caught on my ability to fight back was massive.

You can’t underestimate the prey response either.  Multiple attacks in particular.  There are some horrible examples like this one.

http://www.sheffieldtelegraph.co.uk/news2/Shocking-broad-daylight-beating-.5097706.jp

(CCTV footage can be seen by pressing the green play button on the right. Warning – very nasty)

Human beings have the in-built predator response that is triggered by the chase.

What about your family, your kids, your elderly relatives, your friends?  Are you going to just leg it and leave them?   We can’t assume that we’ll be alone when we’re attacked.   Whilst one of my favourite bear jokes finishes ‘I don’t have to be faster than the bear, just faster than you’, it’s not a particularly great tactic.

Does this mean that running is a bad tactic?  Absolutely not.  But it is just one tactic in your arsenal.   And in my opinion, it’s offered far too often as a solution without consideration of the other tactical implications.  So if you are going to say it, make sure it’s within the confines of a layered defense strategy.

And as with anything, you need to practice it within the confines of good scenario training.  Don’t just expect to roll it out when you need it.   When we look at scenarios within the FAST training this is exactly what we do.  Our instructors around the world have created some truly inspired scenarios for people to play and grow in.

Bill Kipp and I are hoping to put together a bunch of webinars where we’ll discuss things like this in advance of our next round of instructor training in May 2010.

The instructor training will answer a lot of these questions and let you start filling in the gaps for your students.  And we are playing the in the GAUNTLET – the ultimate in scenario training.  Check out www.fast-combatives.com for more details.

And let me know your thoughts on the subject – bring proof

Take care

Dik

In fact, I had even fought competitively in a rough and tumble men’s division for fun and although a sweetheart out of the ring, was considered one tough girl by my male training partners.

With a background like that, one may wonder what FAST Defense would have to offer me?

My martial arts training was and is invaluable to me and helped me get into great physical shape, develop great coordination, beautiful technique, a super outlet for stress and a true warrior’s spirit.

However, it also left me with some real world self-protection gaps. Let me explain.

Training Gap -I was not taught in my regular martial arts training how to deal with conflict or anything about the adrenaline rush that occurs when confronted by someone be it expected or unexpected.

I can recall times prior to my FAST Defense training when I was unexpectedly yelled at on the phone by angry customers, didn’t know how to handle unwanted attention from the opposite gender and was surprised by an ex-boyfriend who threatened to do me harm.

The angry customers made me feel sick to my stomach and I’d freeze-up not knowing what to say. Furthermore, I’d take that stress home with me and think about how much I hated having to deal with them, and cursing them for treating me that way. I disliked not knowing what to say or do when “hit on” inappropriately by men, and usually just smiled ( which probably unintentionally encouraged them) or said nothing because I didn’t want to come off like a B$#!#, yet it still bothered me. As far as the ex-boyfriend, well, I completely lost control when he threatened to kill me and picked me up and threw me. I had enough of him, and his abuse and ended-up chasing him down and kicking his butt prior to having any martial arts training. I discovered what it must feel like to completely “snap” (go into fight or flight) and considered myself lucky that he didn’t wage a lawsuit against a then young, 114lb 5′ 3″ girl who beat him up in front of a group of witnesses who had to stop her.

Again, I wasn’t trained or taught how I could solve any of these challenges or stay in control until I took part in FAST Defense.

Let’s go back to the first issue of dealing with angry customers. One of the first things you learn in FAST Defense is to keep breathing and train yourself to stay calm and focused. Just that tip alone could have helped me out. Next, you learn to listen and respond appropriately- not too passively and not aggressively, but assertively. Rather than taking what the customer is saying personally, I discovered how to apply FAST Defense to help stay calm, hear the customer out, and speak to them tactfully and assertively.

Next, I discovered I could put my needs first and decline unwanted attention without being rude, or embarrassing the other person. An example is a simply role play on how to decline a hug, or what to say when someone first says something slightly in appropriate. So I’ve learned the art of verbal self-defense and tact. I feel perfectly comfortable saying something like: “John, I know you don’t mean anything by it, but when you put your hands on my shoulders, it really makes me feel uncomfortable, so I’d like you to give me a little space when we talk, ok?” This works like a charm and keeps the other person from feeling bad.

On to the badly-behaved ex-boyfriend. Had I understood how to clearly communicate from the beginning and understood that meeting aggression with more aggression can be like pouring gas on a fire, my ex probably wouldn’t have threatened to kill me and picked me up and threw me. He was begging to know why I didn’t love him anymore and in a drunken stupor. I had stumbled upon him at a party and was just using the restroom before I was going to leave as I didn’t want to be there since he was there. He dashed in the bathroom behind me and locked the door, and blocked my way out. If I had taken FAST Defense, I would have understood that in his state, my best defense, would have been to listen to him, and talk my way out of the bathroom, and simply have been calm and assertive until I escaped the bathroom. Then the challenge would have been avoided and I wouldn’t have got in a physical fight where I could have been hurt. But instead, I let out several years of bad feelings towards him and yelled at him how much I hated him and blurted out every bad quality he had. Not a smart move, but now, I know better and have skills and will not ever be involved in a relationship that isn’t healthy for me.

So, can FAST Defense benefit you, even if you’re already a well-trained martial artist? You be the judge.

Next month, I’ll add more about another gap that FAST Defense has filled for me. If you’re in the Tampa Bay area, why not join me for a FAST Defense seminar? I’m an  instructor and would love to help you receive the same benefits from it as I have.

Best of luck to you and yours-stay safe!

Kathy Marlor

  www.fastseminars.com

A great example of this is the internal process we go through in FAST. On one level the FAST Journey is just a bunch of tasks to participate in. But while undertaking these tasks (or not) we find ourselves on a powerful inner journey of discovering who we really are, how do we show up in life, and how do we deal with challenges. Do we see them as problems/ordeals to overcome and feel ashamed and bad about ourselves if we don’t overcome them? Or do we see them as exciting and motivating, and attack each challenge with enthusiasm and go for it attitude?

By taking on the FAST Journey, we are provided a glimpse, (no make that a 3D color glossy mirror image) into our deeper selves. How we do anything is how we do everything. Thus how we engage in FAST is how we probably engage in life. It’s a learning process and one designed to facilitate growth as individuals, and as a group. It is our challenge to see what this brings up and learn from it while being kind to ourselves in the process. And so it goes…

I am much harder on myself than anyone else could ever be on me. So my practice is to constantly find gratitude for all the incredible things I have in this life, what I have accomplished, and the great group of friends I have accumulated. When I find gratitude in my heart, all of those harsh self demeaning voices quiet down and I can focus on what I want to attain, instead of what I am not attaining. Then all that negative energy can be cleanly focused on attaining the goals that otherwise I might be avoiding. Less wasted energy!

We absolutely do get out of this Journey what we put in to it. So why the hell not put everything we can in and see what happens. “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing” -Helen Keller

My personal change and that of my family and friends was more on a life outlook and mission. That mission is that we want everyone to know what self-defense really is all about and that it is so much more than kick/punch.

So I ask this question, Why doesn’t everyone take a self-defense class?

Every one seems to realize that they need to take some sort of self-defense class. Unfortunately most do not take one. Why don’t they, there could be several reasons for this that we won’t get into at this time. Most don’t realize that there are many side benefits, just like I experienced, to taking self-defense courses (especially FAST Success classes). I would hope that when individuals understand the benefits and why they are important, they will change their minds and get educated in self-defense.

What are these benefits? Well aside from the obvious physical skills, when a class is done correctly they are;
awareness;
overall confidence;
understanding of one’s triggers;
confidence in verbal altercations;
knowledge of the progression of violence;
understanding of adrenaline and how it reacts in ones body;
the predator prey relationship and;
assertive non-verbal and verbal communication.

Each one of the above is a discussion in itself. The interesting thing is that when students have completed one of our classes they not only have all the above taught to them, but for many, something pretty amazing happens. They find the desire to live a better life; to be kinder and more compassionate; and to help others. They want to move forward in life and achieve their dreams.

Why do individuals have this response? I feel that it is because they have been taken through a process of what it is to be human. They go through an extreme adrenalized education of how we functioned on an animistic life and death level, and come out on the other side in a high state of awareness of our true potential as humans. The students tend to understand that the scum of the human animal is not our potential; that being loving, kind, generous, courageous, compassionate and charitable is our true potential.

In answer to the question, Why doesn’t everyone take a self-defense class? I think the answer is, most people don’t really know what self-defense really, truly is. They think it is kick/punch and that really doesn’t interest them. But if they realize the true benefits are better living, more courage to move forward in life, a desire to help others and an overall assertive and compassionate demeanor they will sign up.

My mission as a FAST instructor is to help people overcome their fears and realize their true potential in life and achieve and realize their goals. I want them to feel the change that I felt, that my wife and friends felt and move forward to be a better person. Being part of FAST Success is doing that for me, and I can’t help but share.

And perhaps more to the point, these misconceptions create false fear and denial that keep so many people from ever taking a self defense course, even though it is a subject that everyone needs to know in our ever increasingly violent world!

There are currently a number of self defense and martial arts organizations that have transcended the stereotypes of self defense and actually do provide very effective state of the art self protection. Yet the world at large is still largely unaware of the modern technologies these organizations are employing that are saving and changing so many lives.

Why Is This So?  In order to get a clear picture of where we are today with self defense, we must take at least a short historical journey. Self Defense has historically been linked with the martial arts. The Martial Arts these days have grown into a powerful Industry that teaches a wide variety of benefits from self defense, to character development, self discipline, fitness and more. But this was not always the case.

Martial Arts Aficionados’ pls excuse the simplistic account that follows:   When the martial arts were first brought to the western world, (primarily by military personnel who learned Martial Arts while abroad), they were taught in a relatively hard core manner in back yards and basements by some pretty hard core dudes. The training was quite arduous and the students who hung in there certainly became quite proficient in physical defense through sheer survival. The bottom line is that unless someone was willing to endure brutal long term training in dirty dungeon like conditions with a bunch of testosterone pumped karate guys, self defense was for a good while pretty much an elusive entity. Especially to those folks who needed it most.

Enter: Self Defense for Women.  To fill in the gaps, some of these concerned old school practitioners began developing self defense courses for those unwilling and unable to attend formal martial arts training. These courses were often were taught by big burly guys, often cops or grizzled veterans, and often comprised instruction of complicated technique combinations to their female students. (Men apparently were supposed to ‘just know’ all these techniques already, and thus wouldn’t dare step into such a course for fear of appearing unmanly). Crucial awareness or verbal training was non existent in these classes, and there was virtually no attention given to the realities of the adrenal fear response.

Thus, many women who received training typically left these classes ill prepared to handle a real life altercation. Sadly the stories abound of such women being overwhelmed by real attackers when their newfound defense techniques failed in the heat of the moment. Hence, self defense justifiably took a big hit as being ineffective. And these poor women took a double whammy from the resultant shame/guilt when they failed in combat because they “should” have been able to defend themselves after their training. Yet this dynamic was never addressed, and the victims suffered horribly twice over. This wasn’t due to the negligence of these big hearted well meaning Instructors. They really wanted to help and were simply doing the best with what they knew at that time.

Meanwhile, the martial arts began to take off as a viable business enterprise. The MA school environment greatly improved so that women and children would be more inclined to participate. Focus was as much or more on character development, physical fitness, and self discipline vs. the more hard core ‘old school’ aspects of self defense. Participants could now study in a clean, fun, safe and supportive environment. In a big way this was a positive shift as it put more focus on the true merits of martial arts that go far beyond self defense. Per force the hard core self defense training of the martial arts began to fade in deference to a safer and more enjoyable family atmosphere.

The Media Factor: Movies and the media put all sorts of crazy ideas into people’s heads about how to defend themselves. The old school “real men” like Chuck Bronson and Clint Eastwood showed that tough, “take no crap from anyone” iron man cold demeanors are what we should strive for. Then Bruce Lee entered the scene showing that blazing speed, ripped muscles, and incredible spinning/flying techniques were the cure for all our self defense needs.

Finally, enter the UFC and MMA phenomena. Although fantastic for the martial arts as a means to test what was missing in their MA arsenal, it produced yet more questions about what constitutes real self defense for real people. Suddenly in many circles, ground fighting was the end all of self defense, despite the fact that sport JJ and the Octagon and its’ requisite rules are far removed from real life self defense. There are no surprise attacks, the techniques are necessarily complicated, extreme physical fitness is paramount, ground fighting is the last place one wants to be in a real fight, and weapons are not in the equation. Yet MMA is perceived and even marketed as “Reality” self defense to this day. Granted the physical prowess of MMA fighters is immense and experienced MMA practitioners would be a true force to be reckoned with on the street. But how many people want to endure such tough training? And once again the all important awareness and verbal tactics are missing in most MMA training. It’s not at all that MMA is bad. There are just some additions that could be made to make it better for self defense.

So what then IS self defense? In my personal experience teaching Adrenal Stress Response self defense over the last 22 years, I have traveled the world teaching self defense to people of all ages, genders, and levels of proficiency in virtually every martial art and even professional fighters. I have accumulated well over 50,000 physical fights in training (which I am not bragging about since I lost every fight to my students) and just as many verbal altercations. I have over 200 Certified Instructors teaching worldwide and collectively we have amassed a colossal amount of empirical data as to what does and does not work. From these I and my colleagues have come to some hard won conclusions:

•  Most situations can be de-escalated by good assertive demeanor and verbal tactics. These are the most important self defense skills of all as a physical altercation is the last thing we ever want. Not only must we win the fight, we may have to win when they come back disgruntled with a gun or 10 buddies, and then again and often the most difficult battle is in court.
• Self defense is not restricted to dark alleys! From the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom to the street, situations arise every day that warrant some level of defense for children, teens, women and men!
• Altercations are emotional. Not only are we dealing with the aggressor, we are dealing with a wide array of internal responses that suddenly appear in the heat of the moment. Emotional knee jerk responses are common and can make a situation much worse.
• Awareness of Socio Conditioning – Whether we like it or not, we all have conditioned voices in our heads about how we ‘should’ deal with conflict. These come from myriad sources such as our family, our geographic location, past experiences, movies, and even friends (who typically have no better idea then we do). These voices scream in our heads during a conflict and can dictate a bad reaction. Ex: “just be nice”, or “don’t be rude”, or the other extreme “Don’t be a pussy”, or “Ya think you are tougher than me?”
• The effects of adrenaline MUST be addressed. It doesn’t matter how much training or how many black belts someone has. If they cannot understand and deal with the flight/freeze/fight response, they will most likely succumb before the fight even begins, and certainly will during and after the fact.
• Breathing is Good! The first thing we humans fail to do under duress is breathe properly. I have seen this across the board, and it is the single most debilitating response we can make, as it instantly escalates the negative effects of adrenaline.  Proper breathing is the key to controlling the adrenaline/ fear and choosing and applying effective self defense action, be it verbal or physical.
• Know your triggers! We all have triggers or buttons that someone can push to get us to lose it. Awareness of these triggers is key so that we don’t get coerced into a knee jerk response by someone pushing our buttons. Most assaults on women are committed by someone they know, and they often well know your triggers! (again, the key is “breathe before you bark” or take any action).
• Self defense can be learned quickly if taught correctly. Ongoing MA training is great for those willing to put in the time and energy to acquire the necessary skills. But what if they are not so inclined? And what about verbal de-escalation? The technology exists to teach people very effective self defense in just hours and many MA schools are combining this technology with their Traditional Martial arts training to be the cutting edge of the Industry.
• Size is irrelevant. Effective defense does not require big muscles or physical prowess. Think about trying to hold a cat who doesn’t want to be held. Who will win that fight every time? Also, adrenaline is the great equalizer. Women have lifted up cars to save infants. Imagine that same power yelling “NO!” or driving a knee into the groin, or fingers into the eyes of an attacker!
• Physical Defense should ONLY be used as a last resort. The trick is to do whatever we can to not fight. It’s easier to avoid a fight than we might think. But If fight we must, it’s no longer a game or contest. Its all out survival, and time to flip the adrenal switch and go Mama Bear on the attacker!
• KISS Rule – Simple high percentage strikes to vulnerable targets on the attackers body are the way to go. Anything else can be wasted energy and time and might cost you dearly.
• 90% Spirit/10% technique. If a fight does ensue, it is usually the person that can tap into their “Go For It” attitude that prevails, over the person who has all the skill in the world but no fighting spirit. “The crazier person wins” is an adage that has proven itself time and again.
• Worth Defending – All of the above is meaningless if we cannot get the student to believe that when push comes to shove, they are worth fighting for. It’s a sad fact that many people will fight for a loved one, but not for themselves. It is incredibly uplifting when students find the power within to fight for themselves.

Self Defense should be empowering! Perhaps the most rewarding facet of this training, certainly the one that has kept me doing it for over 2 decades, is seeing the glow that emanates from a student who suddenly discovers the power they have inside. We all have it, yet the world does not necessarily support us shining with all of our glory. This is a travesty in my estimation. Yet we have the technology to provide people of all ages the opportunity to tap into their power at the deepest level; deeper than most people ever feel. And once you tap into that power, life changes forever, not just in conflict, but in every moment!

Kudos to all the dedicated people who have given their hearts and souls to the continuing evolution of self defense technology. The world is changing and so must we continually adapt. It is now incumbent on the world of Self Defense Instructors to stand up and re-educate the world as to what Self Defense truly is about. To do so we must give self defense a Makeover! We need to let people know we have progressed far beyond the good old days. Only then will our Industry get the correct attention so that collectively we can train enough people that our world will change in a big way.

 Sidenote – It deserves serious mentioning that the ultimate self defense is against the real killers of the world; heart disease, cancer, diabetes and the like. As it is for Human Rights, and the Planet! Are we up for the task?

www.fastdefense.com

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/12/15/sexual.assaults.college.campuses/index.html

In the article, CNN state that 1 in 5 college women will experience rape or attempted rape before graduation.  That is a shockingly awful statistic.  Trawling about the internet, you will find people who say that this figure is optimistic and some that say it’s pessimistic.

 The article itself contains nothing really new but some of the comments really brought home to me the attitude of some people around the world.    Everyone seems to have an opinion.

 Now, I’d like to say upfront that rape or sexual assault of any type is totally abhorrent. As we move into 2010 we must accept that there is NO justification for it, there are no acceptable excuses and as an enlightened race, we should not be tolerating it. 

 Also, I completely respect people’s views that they should be able to go about their business without fear driving their behaviour.  Intellectually and morally I believe that individuals should be able to walk around anywhere unmolested with no need to ever consider personal safety measures.

 However, the practical part of me is forced to accept that it does happen, that there are risks and dangers out there, and that the world is not all it could be. 

 Without access to a significant body of evidence, I cannot comment on the accuracy of that figure.  However, my experience of working with survivors tells me that it’s probably at least 1 in 5, or worse.  But in all honesty, 1 in a million is too many.

 People often argue that by addressing the women and offering them advice and training, the root cause of the problem is being missed.  Yes, quite so.  But as far as I can see, the root cause is a massive issue for society as a whole to address and we seem to be taking our time.     So in the meantime, I’m interested in reducing that statistic by as much as possible by the quickest means possible.

 Every young woman deserves to receive the best advice and training to help them stay safe.   There are some fantastic organizations out there doing just that.  Our friend Erin Weed of Girls Fight Back (www.girlsfightback.com) is one of those people giving great advice.  Erin’s group is out there giving keynote 90 minutes seminars at campuses all across the USA.  They are educating the very people that need it most.

 So many people see ‘self-defense’ and think of martial artists in pyjamas.  But true self-defense is all about options and empowerment.  It’s about women being able to make confident decisions and take actions free from fear.   Done well, it should be life changing. 

 Self-defense training is not a reason to debate politics or beliefs.  It’s a common sense palliative that is needed while us human beings try to get our house in order.  Like it or not, young women are at risk right now.  Environments and people that are believed to be innocent are proving to be anything but safe.   It’s not all about random attacks down dark alleys.   A college girl is much more likely to be assaulted by someone they know in a place they thought was safe.

 It’s important that our daughters, wives and sisters are educated so they can defend themselves at every level.  It must allow them to make informed decisions about where they let their hair down, how their intuition can be their best friend, how their options include assertiveness to stop situations in their tracks long before they ever get physical.

 So as we draw ever nearer to Christmas 2009, let’s give all the women in our lives the gift of something life changing – our support and encouragement to go out and get the freedom that comes from good self-defense training.

Stacking, in a self-defense situation, involves maneuvering or changing our position so that we are only fighting one person at a time and that only one person is with in striking distance at any giving time.  This is much easier said than done.  However, the idea is simple, “Take them on one at a time”.  That “One at a Time” principle can easily be used in our everyday lives.  One life get’s ruff and the stress is coming at us, we should stack them up and take them on one stress at a time.

Sometimes in Self-Defense we are taking the attackers on one at a time but another sneaking or more aggressive individual will demand our attention.  In this case we may need to leave the individual we are taking on and stack him up behind the one that is demanding our attention.  We do this until the threat is eliminated and then move on to the next one.  We also keep our eyes on the attackers that we defeated so that they don’t reach up and grab us when we least expect it.  This helps us keep our selves safe and moving to a safer better position.

So in our day to day lives, stack up the stress or the things we need to do.  Sometimes we will need to leave one or put one aside to take on another task, but this way we stay focused and will eventually became successful.  Remember the answer to the age old question, How do you eat an Elephant?  One bite at a time.  Try this stacking principle, it has worked for me and I know it will work for you.

 Yet for many of us, is it? The Holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, connection, and happiness. Yet right now on the infamous Black Friday there is a massive swarm of highly stressed shoppers madly dashing from store to store, stealing parking spaces, pushing for choice positioning, and much more no doubt.

Now I’m not going to rant about the rampant consumerism that helps drive the whole Holiday machine. That is a deeply rooted problem requiring long term heavy duty solutions. But what we can control right now is the quality of our Holiday experience.

We all want to be joyful and happy, share good times with our loved ones, and fully enjoy ourselves. But how many Holiday Seasons have come and gone often with regret with how they transpired? Stress, altercations, family issues, too many people, too little money, too much food, (and MUCH more…) challenge the attainment of a truly enjoyable Holiday experience.

 Sadly, the Holidays are one of the most violent times of the year. FAST is about learning to control fear, instead of it controlling us. But it goes much deeper than that. It’s about conscious living in every aspect of life. It’s about being aware of how we “show up” in life’s challenging situations. Do we knee jerk in either a passive way and let life control us? Do we get aggressive in a pinch and make the situation worse? Or do we engineer success for ourselves by finding creative assertive solutions?

So here is a question to ponder: Does your Holiday experience control you, or do you control it? Are you going to float and just hope that the Holidays turn out okay? Or are you setting yourself, your family, and friends up for a successful and happy Holiday experience?

 The good news is this is all in our control. It just takes some conscious thought, stress management, and creativity to create the best Holiday Season ever! Then it really will be a season to be Jolly!